It was amazing how I suddenly could call in at the top of the hour, answer two questions, and disconnect to get back to work.

Another sign of a non-project project is when they swear they are doing the most amazing technical thing ever imagined. Sorry, no, you’re just not.

I had one guy who insisted his new crypto system would take over the world if only I could implement it in code. I looked at the algorithm and said dude, all this does is take a lot more memory and processing power than necessary to crank out something like a 256-bit key. It was literally a calculator trick. (Of course I passed on that one.)

People who are unrealistic about how awesome their idea is are rarely any more realistic about making solid plans and following through with them.

I am totally hearing you on the conference calls! Oy!

STEP ONE:
“Flipper” gets five bids for their unrealistic plans, sketched on a wet napkin. Cheapest contractor gets the job without asking any questions at all. Work begins, stuff is torn apart, supplies (cheapest available) are ordered.

STEP TWO:
All forward progress ceases. Contractor nowhere to be seen. An occasional appearance is made by a guy in a bandanna eating a burrito on an upended paint can in the backyard, but communication is impossible without Rosetta Stones.

STEP THREE:
They bring in another contractor — this time without even a napkin plan, simply because HE’S THE ONLY GUY WHO CAN START THIS AFTERNOON. (Hint: Ask yourself why he’s not on another job.)

STEP FOUR:
Loop to step two and repeat.

Some of my hints of trouble ahead:

No real price objections or discussion at all (I’m not cheap)
Everything goes through some “corporate office”
Big problem in getting a solid deposit up front
Won’t communicate in writing (email), only telephone
Signs off on all major deliverables with no discussion at all
Goes on and on about IP rights. (Usually hints they’ve been sued.)
Can’t / won’t connect you with previous contractor for questions.
Lots of long, meaningless conference calls for me to attend

And yes, I agree that this “Ben” is likely having similar problems with other projects–and wondering why reliable help is so darned hard to find.

I don’t have the facts on this particular case either, but a pattern I see a lot is an employer or primary contractor lowballing a bid to get the work, and then pushing the lowballing down to the people who actually design, develop, implement, and test. Which is wrong. If you’re lowballing a project bid to get the work, that budget issue is your problem and your responsibility.

It makes me wonder if the very reason this Ben fellow is in trouble in first place is due to his treating others the way he treated you before you got involved. The reason the original PHP guy may have left was because he was being underpaid, under-communicated with, and guess what – apparently he wasn’t under any kind of contract either (or was he salaried?), to be able to walk away with the job 90% done.

Ben may get this project completed, but with his sort of work ethic his luck probably won’t last.

I’m not sure the relationship between fees and respect is linear or even monotonic.

Avonelle, one of my really big red flags is… if you’re going out to lunch together, and he drives, it’s all start/stop, tailgating, that sort of thing. Actually, aggressive behavior of any kind (unless really called for by circumstances) is almost always a negative indicator.

Harsh criticism of “the last guy” is a big one too. It’s one thing to say, “It didn’t work out, in my opinion for such and so reasons.” Quite another to insult that person or company.

Along those lines, if they talk about lawsuits a lot. Yeah.

I just had a conversation about this with an accountant friend of mine that I could help some people with my spare time with accounting and financial help (an extra skill I have). He said the same thing that if I did it for free or didn’t charge a high enough fee then the people would never see/recognize the value of it.

Imagine having to spend eternity with people as awful or worse than you.

Brrrh!

Good article by the way, Mark.

Wishing you a future filled with awesome clients who think you’re a rock star and treat you like one.

Judy